Nevertheless, patriarchy persists.

The older I get, the more grateful I am for being raised in two different places. I also seem to be more comfortable with the overall "otherness" of my humanity. By "otherness", I mean the man pants and big tits thing. I’m a fella-girlie ( imagine a tomboy, but all grown up) born in the north and raised in the south. As a comedian, I know what it’s like to be the only vagina in the room at work. At home, I am usually responsible for taking out the trash and drilling things into walls.

My point is, I feel at home in the middle ground. I don't own any shirts that say "The Future is Female", mainly because I envision a more fluid future. I have experienced more than my fair share of mansplaining. On the flip side, I've also heard a slew of my female friends bitch/complain about their boyfriends/husbands, wielding toxic masculinity at the men in their lives like their own personal ma(n)chete. Sometimes, my masculine presence gets me lumped into the luddite bin.

What I'm saying is, I get it. I know the patriarchy exists, and can weave it's way into any and all genders. Having said that, what I read this morning blew my mind.

Last week in Nashville a white guy blew up his RV

When his neighbors were asked about Anthony Quinn Warner, they said he was a quiet guy. "The last person you'd expect to do something like this"

Except, Warner's ex-girlfriend did just that. Warner's girlfriend not only expected it, she was sure of it. Sure enough to talk to her lawyer about it. Her lawyer was sure enough to talk to the police about it.

When the police came to her house to follow up, she had two unloaded guns on the porch. She said they were Warner's, and that she wanted them gone. She explained that Warner had been talking about building a bomb in his RV. That she was afraid of him. The real kind of afraid, where you have the police come big up his things so he doesn't use it as a reason to come by. I'd like to point out here that she didn't keep his guns in an effort to protect herself. She called the authorities.

Her attorney, Raymond Throckmorton III, met her at her house when the police showed up, and confirmed that Warner "knows what he is doing and is capable of making a bomb".

If you are following along, a woman called to report a possible danger to society, and even had a MAN there to confirm she had reasons to believe what she believed! What a lucky little lady, right? The best thing a woman in America can hope for is that there is a wise (white) man by her side, corroborating her own experience.

Guess what happened next?

"According to the police report , the woman was experiencing a mental health crisis at the time. Officers called their mobile crisis division, and after talking with the woman, she agreed to be transported by ambulance for a psychological evaluation"

The ol' hysterical woman trope, so distraught by the loss of a man that she must be having a mental health crisis, therefore is not to be taken TOO seriously. No consideration that maybe, just maybe, the woman coming to terms with the fact that her ex is capable of massive violence, might be a little freaked?

The cops went by Warren's house, but he wasn't home. The MNPD spokesperson said "They saw no evidence of a crime and had no authority to enter his home or fenced property,"

Apparently, a witness and a corroboration is not enough evidence to even TRY to get that authority though? Pop Quiz: what if Warner was brown? I bet they might've knocked on the door at least one more time, right? The local cops passed the info to the FBI, and since Warner had no record ( and his only accusation was the ex-girlfriend, ahem), that was that.

This is what women mean about the patriarchy. This is systemic oppression. This is what life is like sometimes as a fully formed adult, presenting as someone with a vagina. This is the clearest recent representation that the white, patriarchal society is alive and well.

There is the tiniest bit of solace in the knowledge that even if a woman tries to save it from itself, the patriarchy would rather blow itself up than believe her.